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Tusshar Kapoor and Seinfeld – What’s the connection??

16 May

So, everyone is talking about  Tusshar Kapoor’s picture in the Bombay Times today. This somehow reminds me of  two Seinfeld episodes called ‘The Package’ and ‘The Doorman’.

The Package

In this episode, George discovers the woman at the photo store is looking at his pictures. He thinks that the photo store clerk has stuck a revealing picture of herself within his pictures, when, in actuality, it was a lingerie model’s picture that accidentally got mixed in. Kramer convinces George to return the “compliment” by sending seductive pictures of George to the photo store woman, and offers to take the photos. He says, “George, it’s the timeless art of seduction. You gotta join in the dance. She sends you an enticing photo, you send her one right back.”

The Doorman

Anyways, looking at Tusshar Kapoor’s chest [Actually Moobs is the right word :-P] it reminds me of another Seinfeld episode called ‘The Doorman’ where Kramer designs a prototype for men with breasts and gifts it to Frank Costanza [George’s Dad]. Kramer and Frank think on going into the bra business with Sid Farkus. Kramer likes to call his invention “the Bro”, although Frank prefers “the Manssiere”.

So, it looks like Tusshar Kapoor can hit an endorsement deal with Kramerica Industries! The question is what should we call it, The BRO or The Manssiere??

Rahul, Digvijay turn Venture Capitalists, Funding a Slap Detector

8 Dec

Delhi. Rahul Gandhi and Digvijay Singh are apparently conducting secret meetings after the Sharad Pawar slap gate incident. Reports say that Rahul Gandhi has “slapophobia”.  In his earlier interviews Rahul had mentioned whenever mom Sonia Gandhi rushed to slap him during his childhood he would threaten to call KGB. Hence, Rahul never got to taste a slap. After the recent Sharad Pawar incident Rahul is scared that he may be the next victim soon. His friend, philosopher and guide, none other than Mr. Digvijay Singh, came to his rescue. Both of them had the same fears and even Mountain Dew and Thumbs Up could not help them overcome their fear. Rahul tried to reach Akshay Kumar for some advice, but Akki was busy promoting Desi Boys. They finally decided to hire two talented IIT drop-outs who had a promising idea of making a device which detects a slap in a split second. This device has a very sleek design which comfortably fits in to the ear and resembles a hearing aid device. This device works on a button cell, they plan to include an extra cell along with the device.

This device detects the emotions and the brain activities of the people around using a 9th generation emotion censor which can map the brain activity in nanoseconds. If someone is about to slap you the device plays the song “Chaata Laga” and then the security systems can be alerted. Everyone in the world of Politics, Entertainment, and Business are keeping an eye on the latest developments in this research. Rahul has provided the IIT guys with free chai-sutta for inspiration and energy, as lack of chai-sutta had earlier resulted in them dropping out. He is also helping them out with free labourers from Uttar Pradesh. Barrack Obama has shown a lot of interest in the research. He says, Rahul owes us something big and if he delivers then they may clear the charges that FBI had made against him. The money for the funding obviously comes from Rahul’s girlfriendVeronique Cartelli on a condition that Rahul would not be using the device when Veronique is around. Robert Vadera has also shown great interest in Rahul’s venture and has promised to fund him if he needs more. Digvijay Singh is inspiring the two IIT dropout entrepreneurs by giving them positive thought. The entrepreneurs had made proposals to all the popular population but no one seemed to like the idea, but only after the slap gate says Manikantha, one of the two entrepreneurs.  This device will be out soon before the New Year. Sadly, it won’t be available to the common man.

(P.S – I had submiited this article to Faking News. Those fakers didn’t publish it 😛 )