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Rahul, Digvijay turn Venture Capitalists, Funding a Slap Detector

8 Dec

Delhi. Rahul Gandhi and Digvijay Singh are apparently conducting secret meetings after the Sharad Pawar slap gate incident. Reports say that Rahul Gandhi has “slapophobia”.  In his earlier interviews Rahul had mentioned whenever mom Sonia Gandhi rushed to slap him during his childhood he would threaten to call KGB. Hence, Rahul never got to taste a slap. After the recent Sharad Pawar incident Rahul is scared that he may be the next victim soon. His friend, philosopher and guide, none other than Mr. Digvijay Singh, came to his rescue. Both of them had the same fears and even Mountain Dew and Thumbs Up could not help them overcome their fear. Rahul tried to reach Akshay Kumar for some advice, but Akki was busy promoting Desi Boys. They finally decided to hire two talented IIT drop-outs who had a promising idea of making a device which detects a slap in a split second. This device has a very sleek design which comfortably fits in to the ear and resembles a hearing aid device. This device works on a button cell, they plan to include an extra cell along with the device.

This device detects the emotions and the brain activities of the people around using a 9th generation emotion censor which can map the brain activity in nanoseconds. If someone is about to slap you the device plays the song “Chaata Laga” and then the security systems can be alerted. Everyone in the world of Politics, Entertainment, and Business are keeping an eye on the latest developments in this research. Rahul has provided the IIT guys with free chai-sutta for inspiration and energy, as lack of chai-sutta had earlier resulted in them dropping out. He is also helping them out with free labourers from Uttar Pradesh. Barrack Obama has shown a lot of interest in the research. He says, Rahul owes us something big and if he delivers then they may clear the charges that FBI had made against him. The money for the funding obviously comes from Rahul’s girlfriendVeronique Cartelli on a condition that Rahul would not be using the device when Veronique is around. Robert Vadera has also shown great interest in Rahul’s venture and has promised to fund him if he needs more. Digvijay Singh is inspiring the two IIT dropout entrepreneurs by giving them positive thought. The entrepreneurs had made proposals to all the popular population but no one seemed to like the idea, but only after the slap gate says Manikantha, one of the two entrepreneurs.  This device will be out soon before the New Year. Sadly, it won’t be available to the common man.

(P.S – I had submiited this article to Faking News. Those fakers didn’t publish it 😛 )